Fine Print

by Norman Thomas Cooper

Issue 62

October 25th, 2009

I've been in love with Tammy Walker since we met. The manager at the drugstore where we worked placed me in charge of her training, but he had no idea the trouble this would cause me.

“How long have you worked here?” Tammy smacked her gum and appeared displeased with the manager's choice in me.

I smiled, “Long enough to know what we can get away with.”

“Oh, really,” she perked up. “Then I'm glad you're showing me the ropes.”

When I became the night manager, I made sure we had our breaks together. We sat in the tiny room watching old re-runs of Married...With Children and laughed at every joke.

Tammy consumed my every thought and at night she teased me in my dreams. I dreamed of her falling asleep in my arms. Sharing a strawberry shake at a local 1950's themed restaurant. She dabbed my chin with her napkin and I stroked her chestnut hair. Finally, we kissed as passionate lovers.

I searched online for advice on overcoming shyness. I wanted a sure-fire method. A promise of success with a guarantee for love. I found an ad for a product that boasted a 100% success rate. A magic potion that will turn your object of desire into your love-slave.

A week later, my “promise in a box” arrived. Very discreet. I tore the instructions as I pulled the potion from the box.

I read aloud, “Place the powder in the drink and mix.”

That's it. Only one sample was needed. It couldn't go wrong.

That evening I tried my luck and asked Tammy to go out to a local club. She accepted and asked if she could bring some friends along. We agreed to meet at her favorite dance club.

The club was packed when we arrived. The music played non-stop and I felt the bass in my chest. The girls took their seats at a table near the dance floor and I headed for the bar.

After ordering our drinks, I slipped the powder into Tammy's glass and headed back to the table.

The girls danced while they sat and sipped their drinks. Tammy commented that she was beginning to feel different. She felt frisky and she wanted to dance.

We joined the flow of the crowd on the floor. An ocean of bodies, we jumped to be beat of the music. I noticed Tammy dancing close to one of the girls. She continued to get closer. They touched each other and she touched Tammy's hair. I've seen girls dance together before, but this felt different. The potion wasn't working. At least, it wasn't working for me.

Then they kissed. My kiss. My dream faded.

I quickly ran from the club. I couldn't bear to allow Tammy to see my heartache.

At home, I found a section of paper that tore from the instructions. It mocked me from the counter top.

“For positive success, subject must have feelings for you.”