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The Girl I've Never Told My Friends About
Lee, all slick-fat and pale, rubbed her breasts real proud.
You my man, she said, leaning heavy against the fridge.
With one hand, she hiked her shirt up over her belly. Her panties had grape juice stains on the hip.
I'm God's gift, she said, and I wondered what I had left to offer her.
by steve tartaglione
Maui
Maui hasn’t rekindled our marriage. Boarding the flight home, this old man cuts between us.
“Hey,” I say. “That’s my wife.”
“Jackass,” Caroline hisses. “That was Ed McMahon.”
“Sorry!” I call over my shoulder. “Sorry!” to Ed, to everyone, sprinting back into the airport.
And I wonder: is this only the start of my apologizing?
by colt foutz
Hunger Moon
[This is about a goat named Yoshi, who has the power of human speech every full moon. Also, he is in love with a girl goat named Dinkle. This is supposed to be sung...]
Whaaaaaaaa Haaaaappeeeennnn? Dinkle, you ate my favorite book, my only book. I'm not mad, this is just how my faces look in the moonlight. Ooooohhhh spit on this X I've scratched on the ground and bite at the air if you knowwww what I knooowwww, what I mean. Dink this is totally off the cuff.
by nicolette bond
Not in Knoxville
Ashleigh calls, says her mom up and ran away.
Catalogues the abandoned: “wheel, kiln, artwork, cats.”
“Your dad,” I suggest, “Her husband.”
Over coffee and bronchodilators I wake up to the dual rupture of it.
Null set, no unknotting: “just gone.”
But – to disappear, weightless all the way down, lunging at the possible...
Not me.
by spencer dew
I Am Rich Two dogs. Fitz and Seth. One big, the other small. Love walks. Love to smell. Spring, summer, fall, winter. Long walks or short. It's all the same to them. Walking dogs is my start for each day. Rain. Snow. Ice. Sunrise or Dark. Found 20 dollars one day. 10 cents on another. I am rich! by donald hamilton
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I Tried Really Hard to Fix It So You Wouldn't Notice What I Did
I glued whatever hair I could find to a dog the same size of your cat. I sanded its tongue, fiddled with it's brain. You will find it not panting at the door, but staring out the window.
You'll scream, Where's my cat? I am so sorry, I will scream, over your cats ferocious barks.
by chris bower
Last night I dreamed that my best friend had gotten a pet dog-cat.
It was a beautiful creature, long and lithe and strong and very soft to the touch. I awoke and told my boyfriend about the dog-cat hybrid, to which he responded, "Wait, she got a dog-cat? Like, part dog, part cat? But that's not possible." At which point I reiterated that it had been a dream.
by lauren pretnar
Contractual Obligation (or, I cannot maintain an erection, but in no way hold QUICKIES! much less Mary and Lindsay anyway responsible for that)
I can’t eat, sleep, or maintain an erection. I drink too much, can’t concentrate and panic uncontrollably whenever I hear a loud sound.
I guess being whistled off of the stage last time I was here was pretty traumatic for me.
That all changes tonight though, because tonight, I am here to reclaim my former self.
Well, that and hype my new book.
Thank you.
by ben tanzer
Petty Theft I Regret
Drunk, we stumbled past a flower-filled yard. Dozens of poppies with swollen seedheads grew by the sidewalk. “Help me,” Paul said, opening his Swiss-Army knife. He piled poppies in my arms for later intoxication.
Hungover, I stumbled past the flower-filled yard; an old-woman mourned her lost poppies. “Who would do this?” she asked.
I shrugged.
by melanie datz
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Tracy Stomped Mark
Mark was dreaming in trailer at Greenhead Farm. Mark felt bed move, opened eyes to Tracy over him with leg cocked and three-inch black heel sparkling. She stomped him in gut with heel. Blood shot from hole in stomach like steaming geyser and covered collection of die-cast John Deere tractors. Mark always liked combine best.
by lex sonne
Unneighborly
“I don’t think you’re hearing me,” Cat pleaded with Canary. “Your gramophone hasn’t stopped for days. I have trouble finding food without silence.” Canary cocked his head, adjusted his wings. Cat begged, “I’m tired. The hunger is worse than the noise.” Canary had found Cat’s weakness and held it like a mouse in his beak.
by jac jemc
Wasp in Sombrero
Wasp-in-sombrero you beckoned: "Sweetheart! Fuckin' Cinco de Mayooooooo!" As I overheard you tell your busboy, " We're celebrating your freedom to live here! Bossman should fuck off so you can drink cervesas, bro." I knew you were of greatness.
I was sorry to leave, wasp-in-sombrero, when the busboy said "No, and my boss is a lady."
by amy guth
Dearest Twins,
Lying on the deck, I saw a constellation of us drinking barrels of wine down by the beach. I hear birds eating each other alive. I miss you terribly. “You’re a bored-again Virgin” Brandy said as we watched lava off the starboard side. When I return, let’s have a baby. Or a drink.by zach dodson
Stick with me and Theodore Huxtable, kid, we'll take you to the Emerald City.
Put your hands up. I’m gonna blow your face off. See how I put you in an oven. Put you in a pot. I clean the dirt and the skin off your bones. I cut your hair and I clothe you with sequins blue and green. Now you’re my fancy dancer. You’re my Prom King.
by mary hamilton
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